Jonathan Adler is pretty hilarious in his new advice column for Huffington Post. See below:

DEAR JONATHAN,

My husband and I have just bought a new apartment on the Upper West Side. When it comes to decorating we have very different ideas. I like color and glamour: he is very beige and boring. How do we get started?

Kate

DEAR KATE,

We have a saying in my company: The wife is always right unless the husband is gay. This is an excellent saying and questioning your husband’s sexuality is a great way to get him to shut up.

If you try to incorporate two differing points of view you will end up with an incomprehensible hybrid, leaving you both feeling luke warm.

Assuming that this is not the case and your husband is straight (is he?), you simply have no recourse other than to eliminate him from the process. Take into account some of his functional needs, and then ignore everything else.

Sooner or later hubby will realize that COLOR

is a great ANTI-DEPRESSANT and that GLAMOUR is good. Beige and boring is bad.

HAVE A NICE LIFE

JA

p.s. While we’re on the subject, please ask your husband to stop wearing pleated Dockers and to stop attaching his Blackberry to his belt. Thank you.