Don’t ask, just watch.

Amy Winehouse + Pete Dougherty + baby mice = really fucking scary. Blake Incarcerated isn’t going to be happy with this, I don’t think.

New to my vocabulary:  the phrase “jump off.”   Apparently the cool kids have been using this term to mean something like, “that’s where the fun starts” ?   However, I need to point out that urban dictionary says “jump off” means some other stuff.. see, it’s not just me that thinks it’s something dirty.

This blog is great.  Here are some of my favorite things that are younger than McCain:

thanks Gunnar.

another gem from Dlisted.

Mosa and I couldn’t remember the name of this porny store in England, but I found it, in case you were wondering, so that makes me the winner.

Listed as an up-and-coming top brand in England.  You know why?  Cause it’s a sex shop chain and it’s everywhere.  Of course it’s popular.

Becky, represent for me.. I have no bike and questionable navagation skills.

After you bike to work, you should park you bike somewhere like this.  (Yes, I did just link to our blog, I’m all about self-promotion.. we are great.)

So, last night I did my first project with NY Cares, which is an organization that makes it super easy to find and sign up for all types of volunteer opportunities in the city.  Mags and I went to help put on this dinner/game night for low-income families with little kids.. and “Don’t Break the Ice” was a huge hit.  I totally lucked out and had a really fun time with this adorable 5-year-old.. (she told me Hannah Montana was waiting for her at home…)  Turns out we fed 113 kids dinner last night.  So, be inspired, suckers.. and go sign up for an orientation. 

Spoiler alert: the buffalo makes it

Fraggle Rock: The LIVE ACTION MUSICAL

I can’t wait. 

This will get you in the mood:

Today on the bus, a guy asked me what day of the week it was.  I had to tell him, it only Tuesday.

 Elizabeth: i need more chuck and less serena crying

PS - GG totally stressed me out this week.   I can’t deal with Dan and Serena drama right now, it’s heartbreaking.  

xoxo

Red Hook + Ikea = better chance of a real couch for me!  Opens June 18th.  I don’t care if I’m supposed to be annoyed at commercialism - I’ve never been to IKEA and it is a tragedy, I’m sorry.

This post is totally all Nora’s, but I’m helping.

If your contribution to legging design is built-in knee pads, what do you THINK we’re going to assume you’re doing?

PS- Don’t ruin Ugly Betty.  THANKS.

Woah.  I have to admit, I posted without actually watching the video first.. and shit, that is creepy!  I’m a little traumatized.. sorry, guys.

How to stop losing your wallet:

It is 5:30am and I am awakeeeee.   I think it’s from coffee.  Is that possible?   Why am I like a 7 year old who isn’t allowed to have pop with dinner?   This chart is from a mormon blog.. but I’m not sure why since I didn’t think mormons could have any caffeine.  

I can’t make this one work on Jezebel (thanks Liz), but desperately needed to see cats on treadmill.. so I found the above.  Love how the one thinks he’s running with front paws only on the ‘mill.

hahaha.. ok, here’s the original.

NYT’s Modern Love: The College Essay Contest

Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define

By MARGUERITE FIELDS

RECENTLY my mother asked me to clarify what I meant when I said I was
dating someone, versus when I was hooking up with someone, versus when
I was seeing someone. And I had trouble answering her because the many
options overlap and blur in my mind. But at one point, four years ago,
I had a boyfriend. And I know he was my boyfriend because he said, “I
want you to be my girlfriend,” and I said, “O.K.”

He and I dated for over a year, and when we broke up I thought my
angsty heart was going to spit itself right up out of my sore throat.
Afterward, I moved out of my mother’s house in Brooklyn and into an
apartment in the East Village, and from there it becomes confusing.

So, a few days after the chat with my mom, when I found myself
downtown drinking tea with my friend Steven, I asked him what he
thought about dating. He has a long-term girlfriend, and I was curious
how he viewed their relationship.

“The main thing,” he said, “is I don’t mind if she sleeps with other
people. I mean, she’s not my property, right? I’m just glad I get to
hang out with her. Spend time with her. Because that’s all we really
have, you know? I don’t want her to be mine, and I don’t want to be
anybody’s.”

(more…)

This pic cracks me up for some reason.   Lionel Richie looks like he might drop Harlow and his shirt is hilarious considering this is a shoot for Harpers Bazaar.

My sister alerted me to this store that is full of awesomeness: Poketo. One area of awesomeness that they specialize in is wallets, which I think Emily should definitely look into. Examples below, as well as examples of their sweetass mofo art prints…becky, notice use of bikes…

Also, those are all just $20

now on to prints

Ok, I’m not sure if this means she’ll do it forever.. but my pretty girl Meetzers brought me her mouse on a rope.. we played, I threw it across the room.. she brought it back!  Threw it again, same thing!  Ok, third time wasn’t the charm.. but two in a row!  Great job Meetz!  Now do this please:

If you’re jealous, here’s how to teach your cat to fetch. However, Meetza is a prodigy that needed no training. My favorite part, “Cats enjoy the time you spend with them and this extra fun game, which involves you as much as your cat, will create a bond that lasts forever.”

christ, I love this section of Jezebel

Cat shoes reminded me that I have always loved animals doing things they’re not supposed to do.. like things humans do.  I used to have pictures of cats in sunglasses drinking iced tea, and another pic of an elephant sitting on a tiny car.  Anyway.  Intern Dan says Meetza will be the laughing stock of Brooklyn if she gets shoes.   That is why Dan is an intern.  To be fair, he did have some other ideas..

Dan: get meetza roller skates!
then we can push her around
OR A SKATEBOARD
or a little car
VRRRROOOOOOOM

Did I find this photo or did I outsource it to the intern?  You’ll never know.

I really want these for Meetzers so we can take her on walks in our nabe.. (there is too much glass on the sidewalk otherwise).

.. just like this.

I kind of want this, but am now realizing what a terrible idea it would be.  Mostly because it’s called “figure skating dress” and is actually a cross between a bathing suit and dress-up.  And a lot of spandex.  Forget you, American Apparel!

This blog is called Museum of Kitschy Stitches. We should totally be reading this all the time.. It was up for a Webby. As if the pic above isn’t reason enough for you..

CWL should totally get a webbernet award.. it’s all I ever wanted. That, and the starbucks gift card that was in my wallet when I lost it..

oh, PS, I’m in the market for a new wallet.  I want a flat one.  Suggestions?  Post them plz.

Can Barney wear those glasses all the time??

Gary Busey is amazing. 

A man selling incense (not One Love, sadly) and body oil on the A train told me “You have to love what you do, if you don’t love what you do you’ll be miserable.”  He seemed pretty happy.  

Defamer brings up a new Lost Mystery

My vote is for island Jack.

Time thinks so too — Takashi Murakami in Time 100

Marc Jacobs says: “When I first saw Takashi Murakami’s work, I smiled and wondered, Where did this explosion come from? Who was responsible for this collision of psychedelia, manga and, well, art? Then I thought, I would love it if the mind that imagined this dizzying world of jellyfish eyes, singing moss, magic mushrooms and morphing creatures would be willing to have a go at the iconic Louis Vuitton monogram.

So I e-mailed Takashi. And he answered. Before long, there he was, standing in my Paris office, wearing his round, wire-rimmed glasses, skeleton-print T shirt, baggy short pants and a sort of samurai ponytail. He looked like a cool skater kid, an eternal teenager.

He and his crew, with total respect for Vuitton’s heritage, were eager to contribute to the creation of a new chapter.

How we would proceed in our collaboration was set forth by Takashi, 46. We would have a game of “catch ball,” throwing ideas and images back and forth, usually over e-mail, until we were both satisfied. Our first agreed-upon work was a straightforward interpretation of Vuitton’s traditional monogram. What had once been set in brown with gold symbols was now alive in 33 clashing colors against a jet black or optic white background. With a bit more throwing of the ball, each symbol within the monogram would soon have its very own identity—even the LV would eventually be entwined in moss and sprout hands.

Our collaboration has produced a lot of works and has been a huge influence and inspiration to many. It has been and continues to be a monumental marriage of art and commerce. The ultimate crossover—one for both the fashion and art history books.

The best part is that it continues, it grows, it morphs and still excites. Our efforts have come full circle. And I get to keep playing this game of catch ball with a great artist—and friend.”

I’d like to see what happens when you unfriend or cancel relationship in live facebook..

I saw that cat shit
when i woke up
this morning

but I went back to bed
and pretended
that i didn’t notice

Forgive me
I was so sleepy
it stunk
so much

—

I have eaten
the phish food ice cream
that was in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving

for after you found out you got fired

Forgive me
but I was doing you a favor
since you’re so fat
so out of shape already
that I couldn’t stand to watch you eat more

—

I have discovered
the presents
that were in
your closet

and which
you were probably
saving

to give me for Christmas

Thank you
they are awesome
so big
so expensive

(first one by me, last 2 by nora)

ps.. I found this by doing a Google image search for “Really old torah.”

Jim is having a contest in his class for the best parody of the classic “This is Just to Say” poem by William Carlos Williams.  Here’s the original:

This Is Just to Say
By William Carlos Williams
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Nora’s entries:

I have finished
the Sunday crossword
that was in
the bathroom

and which
you were probably
trying to finish
for a really long time

Forgive me
it felt so good
to finally fill in 45-across
because you really
should have known
that “obi” was the answer
by now

—

I have watched
the episode of ‘Gossip Girl’
that was saved
on our tiVo

and which
you were probably
saving
to watch together this weekend

Forgive me
It was OMFG-a-licious
so scandalous
so naughty

Can you do better?  Leave yours in the comments..

Like steal a car!  This kid is hilarious.. and only 7

from The Smoking Gun

Today is a day about finding headshots for the House of Representatives.  Some aren’t as cute.  Meet Butterfield.

Fun stuff to do in philosophy class, via Gawker.. “You’re a college philosophy student at NYU studying absurdism, the school of thought that says life and the universe have no meaning. What do you do for a class project? That’s right: bring in a muffin full of razor blades [NYS]“

and now it’s real! they are having the funniest fetus ever made and I just found out they were a couple like… last week. Insert Baby Mama joke here.

This picture cracks me up.  I hate flags and I hate the Hills and I hate those shorts, most of all.  I hope they’re at Heidiwood.

thanks GFY

CatBoxing

i’m having trouble embedding vids today.. i’m lame

Murakami was FANTASTIC.

Stephanie: I had a dream that I was playing with puppies that had autism

me: what do autistic puppies do?
 

Stephanie: they wouldn’t look me in the eyes!

Stephanie: they were still pretty cute.

This photo is taken from Steph’s dream journal.

The NYT is keeping you guys in mind this weekend…

Curators Point the Way to Hidden Treasures   SO you know about the water tower at MoMA, the monkey god at the Met, and the outsized millipede at the natural history museum? What? No? What kind of a museumgoer are you, anyway?

A typical one, it turns out. New York City’s most iconic museums have a tendency to draw you to the same (great) attractions every time — Picassos and Egyptian temples and dinosaurs, just to name a few.

So Weekend in New York presented the following question to staff members of three big Manhattan museums: What is the most hidden treasure in the museum, the ones that even repeat visitors may never have seen?…

full article here

You knew all about that Millipede, didn’t you Becko?  I couldnt’ find a pic of a giant millipede skelton, so the above will have to do.   Google images, ur doin it wrong.

Watch this now

After some deliberation, we (Em and Becko- Nora doesn’t know yet) have decided to add an intern to the crapwelike roster. He has been our behind the scenes help since we started but for some reason, it just occurred to us this afternoon to let Dan post and give him a category. duh. Congrats Dan- don’t screw the pooch!

heart,
crapwelike

This is why I love her..

from People.. “Winehouse, 24, was alleged to have headbutted a man outside of a bar who tried to hail her a taxi, according to a detailed account in The Sun. The article is accompanied by a slideshow sequence of photos which include one of the “Rehab” singer walking into a lamppost.”

Oh my god.. this is a little tempting.  Especially because I actually have experience in a) moderating user content b) cats c) a 3 person office and d) unconventional work hours.. I mean, how much does this sound like my job??

Moderators screen all submissions, moderate comments and help our users with the dangerous world of lolcats. This is a paid part-time (or possibly full-time position). Due to the nature of the site, moderators work non-standard office hours. You will be joining our team of 3 moderators in enjoying all the fun the Web can offer.

We’re looking for someone who lives in Seattle with a great sense of humor, a deep understanding and love of the Internets and a strong work ethic. Cat ownership is not required.

Crap, it’s in Seattle.  Application info here.. if you want to beat me to the punch.  Thanks to Dan for headhunting for ICHC.

Brule’s Rules.  Doodoodooo do.   Petite feet, feminine step.  Feather your bangs.  Wanna meet that Dad.  I wear my Dad’s socks.  I sit down when I pee.  The only MARRIED news team.  Skerrit.. BOO!  Wait Mate.  Great Job! Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssy Dooodles!

 Watch this immediately.

That means we are going to see Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job tonight!  LIVE!  Ahh.