Your Wildest Dreams Have Come True
Has everyone seen this already? I think it’s the funniest thing ever.
New movie you must see
I can’t figure out when this movie is coming to theaters. But…I need to see it.
This needs to be on Cake Wrecks
I just went to a Carvel ice cream stand for the first time and I can’t believe this cake exists and is marketed towards children.
Breaking news: Dane Cook isn’t funny
Is anyone else watching him on Conan right now? Mmmm, not funny. He tells stories worse than I do.
Sexist vintage posters- harharhar
Check all 15 out here. The ones below are some of my favorites…
And finally… this is me posting to CWL from my telex-whatchamacallit
Thanks Nadia
RIP Anna Bag,
This is the best bag LeSportSac makes, Nora and I can both confirm that. But now it’s DISCONTINUED!! WHYYY?! It is what we’ve called “clown car bag” because so much shit fits in it and it doesn’t even look bulky. Observe below (though this is a pattern I hate):
I even wrote them a damn email. I say lets boycott until Anna is back.
Bears: Man’s best friend!
Sounds like a threatdown to me, but this guy is best friends with a bear he raised himself. A GRIZZLY BEAR.
remember when that chimp ate that lady’s face? this looks dangery. more photos here!
Blog of the Day: Texts from Last Night
i think i have sent a few texts that could have made it on this blog...
Some examples:
(305): go do what you do best…puke behind churches
(813): Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick
(336): I just pynch a tree in the fac
(313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin god
(205): I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Female Urinals: what gives?
In my unnamed office building, 30 out of the 120 bathrooms contain something called “female urinals.” They look like this. I have no idea how to use them. Luckily a high-level governmental official has been made aware of the problem.
Your vote required – which bathing suit is more likely to appear in your nightmares?
So my sister and I had a race tonight to find the world’s ugliest bathing suit. Here are the three that I think are the absolute worst. Please vote on which one you believe to be most unflattering.
Option A
From Victoria’s Secret for $164 (I shit you not)
Option B
Also from Vicky’s, but amazinly on sale for $34 (they’re practically giving them away…gee, I guess NOBODY WANTED TO BUY IT)
Option C
From Delias for $29.50
Teeth ice cube trays
gross! I do not want this teeth ice in my bedwater! That has the potential to haunt my dreams. Drew’s find from here.
If I ever tell you I want to watch Gossip Girl…
shoot me in the face please. Because this show is terrible. Seriously. It’s a brain abortion.
Athlete Life Fail
This article was really interesting and sad. Reason number 385983 to to use condoms: you don’t want to be paying child support on nine different kids. I’ve been posting a lot about the need to use protection lately, huh?
Weird. I don’t get it. Why?
I think the couch dress has already been posted. But why would people pay actual money for this.
Gossip Girl spinoff?! holyshit!
look here… (from New York Mag online)
plus
Brittany Snow To Play Young Lily Van Der Woodsen?
News! Brittany Snow, the actress best known for her compelling portrait of a mischievous teen in the film John Tucker Must Die, has reportedly been Chosen by the gods Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage for the Role of the Century: According to Star, Snow will play the young Lily Van Der Woodsen in the Gossip Girl spinoff series about Rufus and Lily’s time together in Los Angeles in the 1980s.
We’re conflicted about this. One the one hand, we’re pleased that Snow seems to be aware that this is a role that will test her mettle as a thespian and is duly preparing for it, hopefully using the Method (We actually did this ourselves one weekend and it turns out all it really takes to become Lily Van Der Woodsen is four gin martinis and one viewing of The Poseideon Adventure). On the other hand, we’re confused that elegant, patrician Lily is being played by someone so … how do we say? Downmarket. We’re sorry, but her name is Brittany! Plus, she doesn’t even look like Lily— her cheeks are rounder and her nose is thicker than Kelly Rutherford’s.
Oh. We guess they’re thinking that this is what she looked like before the surgeries?
Did you spill?
just add a elephant pin to that, and now it looks like you have puking animals on your shirt on purpose! GENIUS! from inventorspot via Jezebel.
blog of the day: gold kit blog
for serious. this is gold kit’s real blog. look, the address is www.goldkit.com/blog.asp!
for all of you who don’t know what gold kit is, it’s those people on tv commercials all the time asking you to mail your extra gold to them in an envelope. because we all have extra gold lying around… i didn’t watch this year but i heard they had a commercial in the superbowl- or maybe i’m thinking cash4gold. whatever. same difference. this service would be great if you were a pirate or you wanted to cash in last year’s grill like these people below. the blog appears to mostly feature food with gold in it and white people wearing grillz. enjoy.
eggnog gold
Meetz does not want to sleep in this CROC
Gross! Who am I to talk really.. I have to admit I bought some Ugg-like boots yesterday after a long hatred of them, so maybe Crocs are up next for me. JK JK never!
Kimora is pregs again
ALSO, props to Celebrity Baby Blog for finding the ugliest picture of her ever.
haley joel makes an ass of himself again
way to be a dickface yet again haley….
From Gothamist (who got it from Curbed)
The mysterious case of The Penistrator—an unidentified “snowfitti” vandal who’s been drawing phallic symbols on snowy cars parked in the East Village this winter—has taken a shocking, unexpected turn. EV Grieve, who regrets that he lacks the “resources to properly track this fiend,” has learned that the perpetrator may be none other than Sixth Sense star and NYU student Haley Joel Osment. TMZ posted this photo of a snow-fingered Osment earlier this month, with the headline “I See D***, People.” Guess we can close the file on that one!
Loving America doesn’t mean putting it on your walls
WARNING: Red, white and blue isn’t a good design scheme.
EW EW EW BABY BORN WITH FOOT TUMOR IN HIS BRAIN
take it away, Today Show!
Even Diddy can’t believe Joaquin Phoenix’s new look
Via Dlisted, and I quote- “No, Diddy, he hasn’t been moisturizing the sexy. Joaquin hasn’t even been bathing the sexy. Obviously.”
Border Patrol Fail
I assume watching this with sound only makes it more hilarious.
RIP Sparks
Say it’s not so.. Sparks is no more. I guess we should also say RIP Drunk Nora Doing Marching Band Dance, and RIP Sparks Challenge Becko. Should we re-create Sparks challenge one last time? (6 Sparks in an hour) Guess not..
The Illinois attorney general says ““These drinks are extremely dangerous in the hands of young people. They contain substantially more caffeine than coffee or soda and are marketed as a way to ‘power’ your nights by staying awake and drinking more alcohol. This is a completely inappropriate message to send to younger audiences.”
I KNOW! BOOOOO. via Gawker.
Seriously Campari?
Jessica Alba looks so much awesome without airbrushing.. maybe she has some minor polterwang going on, but that’s it. She looks great and PS she just had a damn BABY. Campari you suck. Via HuffPo
Speechwriter matate
Whoops. Guess 27 yr old Jon Favreau should start untagging some questionable pics on his facebook account before he heads to the White House as head speechwriter. The Secretary of State is not gonna be too pleased. I was just saying how cute he is..
omg look what i found
these dudes are hilarious. i accidentally found this while procrastinating.
Sarah Palin fail
Yum yum turkey
idol fail…
So I am taking a class this semester ENTIRELY devoted to the discussion of images, making of idols, iconoclash and everything in between. I literally spent the whole day in the library researching the procession of images/idols (I’m going to attempt to make some fancy comparison to traveling exhibits and the processing of famous artifacts and works of art) for my big end of semester paper. Imagine my delight when I found this video on failblog just now…
I am so going to find a way to cite failblog in my paper.
NSFW, unless you’re on someone else’s work computer..
We’ve been having internet problems at work and so the Verizon tech guy came today to check shit out. I hung out with him for a bit.. we talked about music, I ate a bagel, and he fiddled with my computer for a while. I checked email on my boss’s computer, so I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was doing. When he left, I checked my browser history – just cause I was wondering what sites are ‘internet test sites’ or what. Wonder no further.
I haven’t had a chance to watch yet.. but from the titles: “Man with world’s biggest penis” and “What’s in a name? (Penis)” I am pretty psyched. Thanks Verizon!!!
Helen Keller Actress Fail
I can’t embed because I’m on a double-decker megabus right now.
Sarah Palin Prank
Funny but also painful to listen to.
paper fail
I can’t seem to concentrate on anything but failblog tonight, despite the research project I have due on weds. here are some of my faves…
Flip flops & socks are never OK, even if there is a product designed for this combo
found the ad for flip flop socks in my customized gmail ads .. I think because I was gchatting about taking off my heels last night and walking the streets of New York in borrowed socks. Dirty girl.
i’d post the link to buy flip flop socks but i’m not encouraging that behavior.
