Orphan Synopsis
As done by my good friend (and former teacher) Dennis – spoilers alert, but if you think you’ll never see this movie, this is the funniest synopsis I’ve read ever. This movie rivals Wicker Man (my fav) in ridiculousness.

read at your leisure after the jump
New movie you must see
I can’t figure out when this movie is coming to theaters. But…I need to see it.
This needs to be on Cake Wrecks

I just went to a Carvel ice cream stand for the first time and I can’t believe this cake exists and is marketed towards children.
Breaking news: Dane Cook isn’t funny
Is anyone else watching him on Conan right now? Mmmm, not funny. He tells stories worse than I do.
Need a new rug? Meow you don’t!
A few of us here at CWL have moved or moved into new apartments recently, and I for one have been on the hunt for a new living room rug. Well, I should say that I WAS on the hunt until I found this one:

Look at this fucking hipster

http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com
I think this is better than Fuck Yeah Ryan Gosling.
See my fancy long hair?
Mesmerizing. via Dlisted. Also here is his Youtube channel, described as: “This page is devoted to long hair. I belong to the rare species of guys who like to grow their hair really long. I have many other interests but you won’t find anything about them here…”
Female Urinals: what gives?
In my unnamed office building, 30 out of the 120 bathrooms contain something called “female urinals.” They look like this. I have no idea how to use them. Luckily a high-level governmental official has been made aware of the problem.

Your vote required – which bathing suit is more likely to appear in your nightmares?
So my sister and I had a race tonight to find the world’s ugliest bathing suit. Here are the three that I think are the absolute worst. Please vote on which one you believe to be most unflattering.
Option A
From Victoria’s Secret for $164 (I shit you not)

Option B
Also from Vicky’s, but amazinly on sale for $34 (they’re practically giving them away…gee, I guess NOBODY WANTED TO BUY IT)

Option C
From Delias for $29.50

If I ever tell you I want to watch Gossip Girl…
shoot me in the face please. Because this show is terrible. Seriously. It’s a brain abortion.

I just wish Ugly Betty didn’t suck so much lately
It’s SO TERRIBLE and I used to LOVE it. Now Christina’s like 800 months pregnant, and Betty’s TAKING HER DOWN THE RUNWAY.
Seriously. I just want to tell everyone to stop watching this show. Just rewatch season 1.

Idiotarod NYC 2009
Fuck Yeah Sharks!
Kimora is pregs again
ALSO, props to Celebrity Baby Blog for finding the ugliest picture of her ever.

Rib cage suitcase is ugly
just letting you know that now you can travel in ugly style!

I love Street Anatomy
Loving America doesn’t mean putting it on your walls
WARNING: Red, white and blue isn’t a good design scheme.

EW EW EW BABY BORN WITH FOOT TUMOR IN HIS BRAIN
take it away, Today Show!
RIP Sparks
Say it’s not so.. Sparks is no more. I guess we should also say RIP Drunk Nora Doing Marching Band Dance, and RIP Sparks Challenge Becko. Should we re-create Sparks challenge one last time? (6 Sparks in an hour) Guess not..
The Illinois attorney general says ““These drinks are extremely dangerous in the hands of young people. They contain substantially more caffeine than coffee or soda and are marketed as a way to ‘power’ your nights by staying awake and drinking more alcohol. This is a completely inappropriate message to send to younger audiences.”
I KNOW! BOOOOO. via Gawker.
Click at your own risk
http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j99/lfisher1/?action=view¤t=CatTatoo.jpg
Too scaring to embed.
Seriously Campari?

Jessica Alba looks so much awesome without airbrushing.. maybe she has some minor polterwang going on, but that’s it. She looks great and PS she just had a damn BABY. Campari you suck. Via HuffPo
Helen Keller Actress Fail
I can’t embed because I’m on a double-decker megabus right now.
did you know that’s what his wife looks like?
I mean, yeah, she’s pregnant. Like, maybe the most pregnant of anyone. ever.

I’m serious: trim those bangs

Emily: I bet she has trouble learning
Nora: Why?
Emily: Because she can’t see and shit.
My little pony
Those who’ve been to Ocracoke surely remember the giant rearing pony in front of the Pony Island Motel. And you can’t miss its giant cock and balls. Just wanted to point out that this is not what a horse’s package actually looks like. And it’s the most detailed part of the statue. Weird.
We’ll all go to hell
This video is prettttty harsh on Palin.. but her “place in hell” quote is ridiculous. Remember when Hil was running? I bet Palin wasn’t so supportive. Also, fuck you Sarah Palin. Sorry, I’m sick, and that is my best summary.
Thanks Victoria for the clip.
In light of the financial crisis, dress like a hobo
My sister sent this article to me with the message “These clothes are not affordable in tough economic times. Sorry, NY Times, you are wrong.”

Spice up your life

Surprise! Naked people are on your bed!! I want a new comforter, but not this one, I don’t think. I’m really bothered by the fact that these naked folks have no heads. Get out of my bed headless nudes! OH wait, when you’re IN the bed YOU LOOK NAKED! hehe. But still creepy when the bed is made.
Let’s all play this game.
Sarah Palin baby name generator.
Steph = Trough Gutted Palin
Becky/Dan = WMD Cessna Palin
Em = Fork Decoy Palin
Nora = Bush Gator Palin
I don’t know why Becky and Dan’s came out the same.
HEELS?! for BABIES?!

this is gross.. and not so ‘heelarious.’ that baby looks like a prostitot and she can’t even help it. See heelarious footwear in action here.
Blog of the Day: Zombie McCain
http://zombiemccain.com/



spanks junior
Suri Needs Her Bangs Trimmed
Seriously. Cut dem bangs, yo. Is that why she’s holding money? To tip the stylist?

AMY POEHLER IS LEAVING SNL??
No way!!!!!!!!!
Amy Poehler: Leaving ‘Saturday Night Live’ will be ‘hard’
Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 2:16 PM
Amy Poehler is leaving “Saturday Night Live” after this season in order to focus on family.
The comedienne/actress, who expecting her first child with “Arrested Development” star Will Arnett, talked about parting with the show during an interview with Men’s Vogue.
“It’s gonna be really hard – Boyz II Men hard – to say goodbye to yesterday,” Poehler jokingly said of her nearly seven-year stint on the show.
“‘SNL’ was dangerous, late-night, last-minute and star-studded, but like any good drug, you need to know when to put it down.”
According to an SNL rep, the actress is staying with the show until her baby is born.
Though the mom-to-be makes no guarantee for a return to late-night TV, the star is reportedly working on her own show with “The Office” producers and writers at NBC.
Just last weekend, Poehler made headlines again for her spot-on portrayal of Senator Hillary Clinton in SNL’s season premiere.
I guess I have to cite The NY Daily News for the story, but jesus, Daily News, lay off the linking to your goddamn photos. Just report the fucking story.
This crotch really is insane.

I’m glad the Onion AV club pointed out to me that Terri’s no better at making pants than Stella.
WTF RNC? part2
Good question Steph, why did they put a random mansion behind mccain during his speech? (jfyi- when i watched it on tv, it was just a blue screen…) I think a better question is though, why did they make the stage look like a penis?

That’s former Senator Bill Frist you see speaking on tonight’s redesigned RNC stage, with a lovely projection of the African plains at dusk as his backdrop. You know what else is a projection? The massive black cock on which he’s standing.












