Your Wildest Dreams Have Come True

Has everyone seen this already? I think it’s the funniest thing ever.

July 23, 2009. Tags: , . Matate, Steph, TV. Leave a comment.

New movie you must see

I can’t figure out when this movie is coming to theaters. But…I need to see it.

July 15, 2009. Tags: , , , . I can has animals, Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Not pretty, Videos, Viral. 1 comment.

This needs to be on Cake Wrecks

I just went to a Carvel ice cream stand for the first time and I can’t believe this cake exists and is marketed towards children.

July 8, 2009. Eat this, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. 1 comment.

Breaking news: Dane Cook isn’t funny

Is anyone else watching him on Conan right now? Mmmm, not funny. He tells stories worse than I do.

June 11, 2009. Tags: , , . Do not want, Matate, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Sexist vintage posters- harharhar

Check all 15 out here.  The ones below are some of my favorites…

And finally… this is me posting to CWL from my telex-whatchamacallit

Thanks Nadia

May 28, 2009. Tags: , , . Ads we like, Becko, Do not want, Matate. 3 comments.

RIP Anna Bag,

This is the best bag LeSportSac makes, Nora and I can both confirm that.  But now it’s DISCONTINUED!!   WHYYY?!  It is what we’ve called “clown car bag” because so much shit fits in it and it doesn’t even look bulky.  Observe below (though this is a pattern I hate):

I even wrote them a damn email.  I say lets boycott until Anna is back.

May 26, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Emily, Fashiony, Matate, News, Nora, Want. 1 comment.

Bears: Man’s best friend!

Sounds like a threatdown to me, but this guy is best friends with a bear he raised himself.  A GRIZZLY BEAR.

remember when that chimp ate that lady’s face?  this looks dangery.  more photos here!

May 5, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . Emily, FYI, I can has animals, Matate. 4 comments.

Omg Lol …. bad tattoos

So many more gems.

May 3, 2009. Tags: , , , . Do not want, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

Blog of the Day: Texts from Last Night

i think i have sent a few texts that could have made it on this blog...

Some examples:

(305): go do what you do best…puke behind churches

(813): Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick

(336): I just pynch a tree in the fac

(313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin god

(205): I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.

May 3, 2009. Tags: , . Becko, Blogz, BOD: Blog of the Day, Matate. Leave a comment.

Do not want

This isn’t cute. Or even kitschy. It’s just gross.

No thanks, Design Milk.

April 21, 2009. Tags: . Design, Do not want, Fashiony, I can has animals, Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

The Blankoat: a high-end snuggie

It was very very cold
so was made Blankoat

And you can win one!

April 8, 2009. Tags: , , . Do not want, Fashiony, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

worst. tagline. ever.

from Wooster

April 7, 2009. Tags: , . Ads we like, Becko, Matate, New York. Leave a comment.

Female Urinals: what gives?

In my unnamed office building, 30 out of the 120 bathrooms contain something called “female urinals.” They look like this. I have no idea how to use them. Luckily a high-level governmental official has been made aware of the problem.

I got this image from a site called

March 31, 2009. Tags: . Do not want, Matate, Not pretty, Politicals, Steph. 2 comments.

Funny but so wrong

Delicious Obama Fingers

March 28, 2009. Do not want, Eat this, Matate, Politicals, Steph. Leave a comment.

Your vote required – which bathing suit is more likely to appear in your nightmares?

So my sister and I had a race tonight to find the world’s ugliest bathing suit. Here are the three that I think are the absolute worst. Please vote on which one you believe to be most unflattering.

Option A

From Victoria’s Secret for $164 (I shit you not)

Option B

Also from Vicky’s, but amazinly on sale for $34 (they’re practically giving them away…gee, I guess NOBODY WANTED TO BUY IT)

Option C

From Delias for $29.50

March 27, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Fashiony, Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Not pretty, Viral. 3 comments.

Teeth ice cube trays

gross! I do not want this teeth ice in my bedwater!  That has the potential to haunt my dreams.   Drew’s find from here.

March 19, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Emily, Matate. Leave a comment.

If I ever tell you I want to watch Gossip Girl…

shoot me in the face please. Because this show is terrible. Seriously. It’s a brain abortion.


March 16, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Eat this, FYI, Matate, News, Nora, Not pretty, Politicals, TV. 3 comments.

Athlete Life Fail

This article was really interesting and sad.
Reason number 385983 to to use condoms: you don’t want to be paying child support on nine different kids. I’ve been posting a lot about the need to use protection lately, huh?

March 11, 2009. Do not want, FYI, Matate, News, Steph. Leave a comment.

Bad Paintings of Barack Obama

Well that’s really all there is to say about this site.

March 10, 2009. Matate, Not pretty, Politicals, Steph. Leave a comment.

Weird. I don’t get it. Why?

I think the couch dress has already been posted. But why would people pay actual money for this.

Wow this site is really starting to freak me out.

March 7, 2009. Do not want, Fashiony, Is this pretty?, Matate, Steph. Leave a comment.

Gossip Girl spinoff?! holyshit!

look here… (from New York Mag online)


Brittany Snow To Play Young Lily Van Der Woodsen?

News! Brittany Snow, the actress best known for her compelling portrait of a mischievous teen in the film John Tucker Must Die, has reportedly been Chosen by the gods Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage for the Role of the Century: According to Star, Snow will play the young Lily Van Der Woodsen in the Gossip Girl spinoff series about Rufus and Lily’s time together in Los Angeles in the 1980s.

We’re conflicted about this. One the one hand, we’re pleased that Snow seems to be aware that this is a role that will test her mettle as a thespian and is duly preparing for it, hopefully using the Method (We actually did this ourselves one weekend and it turns out all it really takes to become Lily Van Der Woodsen is four gin martinis and one viewing of The Poseideon Adventure). On the other hand, we’re confused that elegant, patrician Lily is being played by someone so … how do we say? Downmarket. We’re sorry, but her name is Brittany! Plus, she doesn’t even look like Lily— her cheeks are rounder and her nose is thicker than Kelly Rutherford’s.

Oh. We guess they’re thinking that this is what she looked like before the surgeries?

February 27, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Becko, FYI, Matate, TV. Leave a comment.

King croc comes a cropper in Hendala (??)

Crazy news from Sri Lanka

February 24, 2009. Do not want, Eat this, I can has animals, Matate, Steph. Leave a comment.

Did you spill?

just add a elephant pin to that, and now it looks like you have puking animals on your shirt on purpose!  GENIUS!  from inventorspot via Jezebel.

February 18, 2009. Tags: , , , . Eat this, Emily, Fashiony, I can has animals, Matate. 3 comments.

High Tension description fail

thx Videogum, however, this is not a video post..

February 10, 2009. Tags: , , . Matate, TV. Leave a comment.

Blog of the day: This is why you’re fat

Ohhh, THAT’S why!  More gross foods here.

February 9, 2009. Tags: , , , , . BOD: Blog of the Day, Eat this, Emily, Matate. 2 comments.

blog of the day: gold kit blog

for serious. this is gold kit’s real blog. look, the address is!

for all of you who don’t know what gold kit is, it’s those people on tv commercials all the time asking you to mail your extra gold to them in an envelope. because we all have extra gold lying around…  i didn’t watch this year but i heard they had a commercial in the superbowl– or maybe i’m thinking cash4gold. whatever. same difference.  this service would be great if you were a pirate or you wanted to cash in last year’s grill like these people below. the blog appears to mostly feature food with gold in it and white people wearing grillz. enjoy.

eggnog gold

February 4, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . Ads we like, Becko, Blogz, BOD: Blog of the Day, Matate. 1 comment.

Meetz does not want to sleep in this CROC

Gross! Who am I to talk really.. I have to admit I bought some Ugg-like boots yesterday after a long hatred of them, so maybe Crocs are up next for me.   JK JK never!

January 30, 2009. Tags: , , , . Do not want, Emily, Fashiony, I can has animals, Matate. 2 comments.

Kimora is pregs again

ALSO, props to Celebrity Baby Blog for finding the ugliest picture of her ever.

January 29, 2009. Tags: , , . Matate, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

haley joel makes an ass of himself again

way to be a dickface yet again haley….

From Gothamist (who got it from Curbed)

The mysterious case of The Penistrator—an unidentified “snowfitti” vandal who’s been drawing phallic symbols on snowy cars parked in the East Village this winter—has taken a shocking, unexpected turn. EV Grieve, who regrets that he lacks the “resources to properly track this fiend,” has learned that the perpetrator may be none other than Sixth Sense star and NYU student Haley Joel Osment. TMZ posted this photo of a snow-fingered Osment earlier this month, with the headline “I See D***, People.” Guess we can close the file on that one!

January 26, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Becko, Matate, New York. Leave a comment.

Noodle Eater Hair Guard

January 23, 2009. Tags: , , , . Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Loving America doesn’t mean putting it on your walls

WARNING: Red, white and blue isn’t a good design scheme.

January 21, 2009. Tags: , , , . Matate, Nora, Not pretty, Politicals. Leave a comment.


This just in: mustaches are so in.

January 19, 2009. Fashiony, FYI, Is this pretty?, Matate, News, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.


take it away, Today Show!

January 14, 2009. Tags: , , . Do not want, Matate, News, Nora, Not pretty, Videos. 1 comment.

These rugs are gross

But I love that coffee table. And sofa! YUM.

January 14, 2009. Tags: , , , . Fashiony, Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Pretty, Want. Leave a comment.

Even Diddy can’t believe Joaquin Phoenix’s new look

Via Dlisted, and I quote- “No, Diddy, he hasn’t been moisturizing the sexy. Joaquin hasn’t even been bathing the sexy. Obviously.”

December 31, 2008. Tags: , , , . Do not want, Emily, Matate. Leave a comment.

Border Patrol Fail

I assume watching this with sound only makes it more hilarious.

December 30, 2008. Do not want, Matate, Steph. Leave a comment.

Duggar Family: Stop having babies please

I mean, c’mon. Seriously. Your uterus must be aching.

December 20, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Eat this, Matate, News, Nora, Politicals, Viral. Leave a comment.

RIP Sparks

Say it’s not so.. Sparks is no more.  I guess we should also say RIP Drunk Nora Doing Marching Band Dance, and RIP Sparks Challenge Becko.    Should we re-create Sparks challenge one last time? (6 Sparks in an hour)  Guess not..

The Illinois attorney general says ““These drinks are extremely dangerous in the hands of young people.  They contain substantially more caffeine than coffee or soda and are marketed as a way to ‘power’ your nights by staying awake and drinking more alcohol. This is a completely inappropriate message to send to younger audiences.”

I KNOW!  BOOOOO.  via Gawker.

December 18, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Eat this, Emily, Matate, Not pretty. 6 comments.

Seriously Campari?

Jessica Alba looks so much awesome without airbrushing.. maybe she has some minor polterwang going on, but that’s it.  She looks great and  PS she just had a damn BABY.  Campari you suck. Via HuffPo

December 8, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Emily, Fashiony, Matate, Not pretty, Pretty. Leave a comment.

Speechwriter matate

Whoops. Guess 27 yr old Jon Favreau should start untagging some questionable pics on his facebook account before he heads to the White House as head speechwriter.  The Secretary of State is not gonna be too pleased.  I was just saying how cute he is..

December 5, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Crush, Emily, Matate, Politicals. Leave a comment.

Realty Fail

Thanks to Lucy for showing me this blog.

November 25, 2008. Tags: , , . BOD: Blog of the Day, Do not want, Innernette, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

omg look what i found

these dudes are hilarious. i accidentally found this while procrastinating.

best. dancers. ever.

November 24, 2008. Tags: , , , . Becko, Brooklyn, Crush, Matate, Music, Videos. 1 comment.

Bad panda

And bad 20 year-old who climbed into his habitat.

November 23, 2008. Tags: , , . I can has animals, Matate, Steph. 1 comment.

Sarah Palin fail

Yum yum turkey

November 21, 2008. Tags: , , . Eat this, I can has animals, Matate, Politicals, Steph. Leave a comment.

idol fail…

So I am taking a class this semester ENTIRELY devoted to the discussion of images, making of idols, iconoclash and everything in between. I literally spent the whole day in the library researching the procession of images/idols (I’m going to attempt to make some fancy comparison to traveling exhibits and the processing of famous artifacts and works of art) for my big end of semester paper. Imagine my delight when I found this video on failblog just now…

I am so going to find a way to cite failblog in my paper.

November 20, 2008. Tags: , , , , , . Becko, Matate, Videos. 4 comments.

NSFW, unless you’re on someone else’s work computer..

We’ve been having internet problems at work and so the Verizon tech guy came today to check shit out. I hung out with him for a bit.. we talked about music, I ate a bagel, and he fiddled with my computer for a while. I checked email on my boss’s computer, so I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was doing. When he left, I checked my browser history – just cause I was wondering what sites are ‘internet test sites’ or what. Wonder no further.

I haven’t had a chance to watch yet.. but from the titles: “Man with world’s biggest penis” and “What’s in a name? (Penis)”  I am pretty psyched.  Thanks Verizon!!!

November 17, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , . Emily, FYI, Innernette, Matate. 2 comments.

Helen Keller Actress Fail

I think this should actually be called Helen Keller Acress SUCCESS because she does such a good job staying in character.

I can’t embed because I’m on a double-decker megabus right now.

November 7, 2008. Tags: , , . Matate, Not pretty, Steph. 2 comments.

Sarah Palin Prank

Funny but also painful to listen to.

November 5, 2008. Tags: , , , . Matate, Politicals, Steph. Leave a comment.

paper fail

I can’t seem to concentrate on anything but failblog tonight, despite the research project I have due on weds. here are some of my faves…

November 4, 2008. Becko, Blogz, Innernette, Matate, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Flip flops & socks are never OK, even if there is a product designed for this combo

found the ad for flip flop socks in my customized gmail ads .. I think because I was gchatting about taking off my heels last night and walking the streets of New York in borrowed socks.  Dirty girl.  

i’d post the link to buy flip flop socks but i’m not encouraging that behavior.

November 1, 2008. Tags: , . Do not want, Emily, Fashiony, Matate, New York. 2 comments.


The rhino is fake.  FYI.

October 31, 2008. Tags: , , , . Emily, I can has animals, Matate. Leave a comment.

Thanks, dead husband! What a thoughtful gift!

So this is an actual product review on Amazon (found and commented on by one of Drew’s friends).

After trying the Keurig B60 coffee maker at a friends and raving about it, my dead husband surprised me with one just like it for Valentine’s Day. It has been 8-months and I am “in love” with with K-Cup machine…


Henry S. Birdseye III says:
Did giving you the Keurig B60 coffee maker provide your husband with the closure he needed to return to the afterlife, or does his ghostly spirit still walk the earth, giving quality Keurig coffee makers to those he loved as a living person?

Jason Phillips says:
Just as one should never look a gift horse in the mouth, one should always beware of zombies bearing coffee makers. Even really fancy ones.

J Campbell says:
I’m still waiting for either Valentine’s or for my significant other to die so she can get me one. I can’t hurry up Valentine’s day, but let’s just say I’m working on the other…


October 30, 2008. Tags: , , , , , . Emily, Matate, World saving. 8 comments.

these bike riders in traffic=no

edit (first post was too hasty): this will not embed (damn you vimeo). i guess that these guys are good bike riders, but they are idiots. if nora saw most them, she’d start yelling at them for not wearing helmets.

but the parts&labor song used in the video is good, so props for the music choice.

October 29, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Dan, Matate, New York, Videos. Leave a comment.

Spencer should not have a gun.

Hi, vote for gun control.  Sweet Palin shirt, dude.

October 23, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , . Emily, Matate. Leave a comment.

McCain face matate

This photo is really priceless.

October 21, 2008. Tags: , , . Emily, Matate, Not pretty, Politicals. Leave a comment.

The Boa Artist

So, I’m kind of obsessed with The Pick Up Artist.  Sure, trying to get a girl to go home with you is skeevy.. but, Mystery is so hilarious and off-beat, I can’t NOT watch him dole out advice.  It’s kind of like Beauty & the Geek minus the bimbos and plus a lot of piercings.  There is a dude make-over episode right at the start of the season.. amaaazing!  (Don’t worry Nora, I did not delete.)

So in the last episode.. the challenge winner won Mystery’s “special accessory” to help him in the club. Special accessory = black boa.  Honestly, the poor kid is not only scared shitless to talk to girls, but now he has to do it with a BOA?  I don’t care how drunk I am.. if a guy lays a boa on me in a club, I’m going to think he’s off the freakin reservation.  Mystery should be loading these guys up with string cheese to hand out in the bar.   I swear, that would do the trick.  PS.  This show is greatly entertaining.

October 20, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Emily, Fashiony, Matate, TV. 3 comments.

Nina and Michael are right; Kenly is a copy cat.

October 17, 2008. Tags: , , , . Fashiony, FYI, Matate, Steph, TV. Leave a comment.

Post-debate butt grab?


October 16, 2008. Tags: , , , . Emily, Matate, Politicals, Viral. 4 comments.

It’s MANTYHOSE season!!

Once you have discovered pantyhose – and liked it – you might not want to leave off wearing it anymore. It’s fun to experiment with all the colors and yarns and patterns and thickness of pantyhose – it’s fun to try out all the styles and to dress our legs in these materials.

Available at Let’s try out the new wordpress poll function!

October 16, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Emily, Fashiony, Matate, World saving. 2 comments.

Well that’s one way to get a date..

Teenage girls in Australia have been painting their phone numbers on themselves while sunbathing.

This has gotta make it pretty easy to ask a girl out. No need to even buy them drinks first. ick.

October 14, 2008. Tags: , , . Emily, Matate. 1 comment.

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