Orphan Synopsis

As done by my good friend (and former teacher) Dennis – spoilers alert, but if you think you’ll never see this movie, this is the funniest synopsis I’ve read ever.  This movie rivals Wicker Man (my fav) in ridiculousness.  

read at your leisure after the jump

(more…)

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August 1, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , . Emily, Not pretty, Videos. 3 comments.

New movie you must see

I can’t figure out when this movie is coming to theaters. But…I need to see it.

July 15, 2009. Tags: , , , . I can has animals, Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Not pretty, Videos, Viral. 1 comment.

This needs to be on Cake Wrecks

I just went to a Carvel ice cream stand for the first time and I can’t believe this cake exists and is marketed towards children.

July 8, 2009. Eat this, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. 1 comment.

Breaking news: Dane Cook isn’t funny

Is anyone else watching him on Conan right now? Mmmm, not funny. He tells stories worse than I do.

June 11, 2009. Tags: , , . Do not want, Matate, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Need a new rug? Meow you don’t!

A few of us here at CWL have moved or moved into new apartments recently, and I for one have been on the hunt for a new living room rug. Well, I should say that I WAS on the hunt until I found this one:

Only $29! What a steal!

May 18, 2009. Tags: , , , . Design, Do not want, Emily, I can has animals, Is this pretty?, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

These beards are gross

From the World Beard Championship

May 13, 2009. Tags: , . Do not want, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

Omg Lol …. bad tattoos

So many more gems.

May 3, 2009. Tags: , , , . Do not want, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

Bravo needs to make a Real Housewives of Yaoude

Cause this lady lives there.

April 27, 2009. Fashiony, Not pretty, Politicals, Steph. 1 comment.

Do not want

This isn’t cute. Or even kitschy. It’s just gross.

No thanks, Design Milk.

April 21, 2009. Tags: . Design, Do not want, Fashiony, I can has animals, Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Look at this fucking hipster

http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com

I think this is better than Fuck Yeah Ryan Gosling.

April 21, 2009. Blogz, Fashiony, Innernette, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

The Blankoat: a high-end snuggie

It was very very cold
so was made Blankoat

And you can win one!

April 8, 2009. Tags: , , . Do not want, Fashiony, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

See my fancy long hair?

Mesmerizing.  via Dlisted. Also here is his Youtube channel, described as: “This page is devoted to long hair. I belong to the rare species of guys who like to grow their hair really long. I have many other interests but you won’t find anything about them here…”

April 7, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Emily, Fashiony, Not pretty, Videos, Viral. 2 comments.

Female Urinals: what gives?

In my unnamed office building, 30 out of the 120 bathrooms contain something called “female urinals.” They look like this. I have no idea how to use them. Luckily a high-level governmental official has been made aware of the problem.

I got this image from a site called urinal.net.

March 31, 2009. Tags: . Do not want, Matate, Not pretty, Politicals, Steph. 2 comments.

Your vote required – which bathing suit is more likely to appear in your nightmares?

So my sister and I had a race tonight to find the world’s ugliest bathing suit. Here are the three that I think are the absolute worst. Please vote on which one you believe to be most unflattering.

Option A

From Victoria’s Secret for $164 (I shit you not)

Option B

Also from Vicky’s, but amazinly on sale for $34 (they’re practically giving them away…gee, I guess NOBODY WANTED TO BUY IT)

Option C

From Delias for $29.50


March 27, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Fashiony, Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Not pretty, Viral. 3 comments.

If I ever tell you I want to watch Gossip Girl…

shoot me in the face please. Because this show is terrible. Seriously. It’s a brain abortion.

epicfail

March 16, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Eat this, FYI, Matate, News, Nora, Not pretty, Politicals, TV. 3 comments.

Bad Paintings of Barack Obama

Well that’s really all there is to say about this site.

March 10, 2009. Matate, Not pretty, Politicals, Steph. Leave a comment.

I’m terrified of Tonya Harding

Watch your back, Barack.  Tonya Harding doesn’t give a fuck!

March 3, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . Emily, Not pretty, Politicals, Videos, Viral. Leave a comment.

I just wish Ugly Betty didn’t suck so much lately

It’s SO TERRIBLE and I used to LOVE it. Now Christina’s like 800 months pregnant, and Betty’s TAKING HER DOWN THE RUNWAY.

Seriously. I just want to tell everyone to stop watching this show. Just rewatch season 1.

February 20, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Idiotarod NYC 2009

Fuck Yeah Sharks!

January 31, 2009. Emily, Nora, Not pretty. 2 comments.

Kimora is pregs again

ALSO, props to Celebrity Baby Blog for finding the ugliest picture of her ever.

January 29, 2009. Tags: , , . Matate, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Noodle Eater Hair Guard

January 23, 2009. Tags: , , , . Is this pretty?, Matate, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Rib cage suitcase is ugly

just letting you know that now you can travel in ugly style!

I love Street Anatomy

January 21, 2009. Tags: , . Nora, Not pretty. 3 comments.

Loving America doesn’t mean putting it on your walls

WARNING: Red, white and blue isn’t a good design scheme.

January 21, 2009. Tags: , , , . Matate, Nora, Not pretty, Politicals. Leave a comment.

Mmmmmmustaches

This just in: mustaches are so in.

January 19, 2009. Fashiony, FYI, Is this pretty?, Matate, News, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

EW EW EW BABY BORN WITH FOOT TUMOR IN HIS BRAIN

take it away, Today Show!

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/18424824#28635991

January 14, 2009. Tags: , , . Do not want, Matate, News, Nora, Not pretty, Videos. 1 comment.

RIP Sparks

Say it’s not so.. Sparks is no more.  I guess we should also say RIP Drunk Nora Doing Marching Band Dance, and RIP Sparks Challenge Becko.    Should we re-create Sparks challenge one last time? (6 Sparks in an hour)  Guess not..

The Illinois attorney general says ““These drinks are extremely dangerous in the hands of young people.  They contain substantially more caffeine than coffee or soda and are marketed as a way to ‘power’ your nights by staying awake and drinking more alcohol. This is a completely inappropriate message to send to younger audiences.”

I KNOW!  BOOOOO.  via Gawker.

December 18, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Eat this, Emily, Matate, Not pretty. 6 comments.

Click at your own risk

Too scaring to embed.

December 9, 2008. Tags: , . Do not want, I can has animals, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

Seriously Campari?

Jessica Alba looks so much awesome without airbrushing.. maybe she has some minor polterwang going on, but that’s it.  She looks great and  PS she just had a damn BABY.  Campari you suck. Via HuffPo

December 8, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Do not want, Emily, Fashiony, Matate, Not pretty, Pretty. Leave a comment.

Realty Fail

Thanks to Lucy for showing me this blog.

http://lovelylisting.blogspot.com/

November 25, 2008. Tags: , , . BOD: Blog of the Day, Do not want, Innernette, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

Helen Keller Actress Fail

I think this should actually be called Helen Keller Acress SUCCESS because she does such a good job staying in character.

I can’t embed because I’m on a double-decker megabus right now.

November 7, 2008. Tags: , , . Matate, Not pretty, Steph. 2 comments.

did you know that’s what his wife looks like?

I mean, yeah, she’s pregnant. Like, maybe the most pregnant of anyone. ever.

October 30, 2008. Tags: , , , . Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

I’m serious: trim those bangs

Emily: I bet she has trouble learning

Nora: Why?

Emily: Because she can’t see and shit.

October 22, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , . Fashiony, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

McCain face matate

This photo is really priceless.

October 21, 2008. Tags: , , . Emily, Matate, Not pretty, Politicals. Leave a comment.

Horrifying

From the McCain rally in Virginia Beach. Also, what’s up with the dude’s shirt behind this woman?

October 14, 2008. Tags: , , . Do not want, Not pretty, Politicals, Steph. 4 comments.

My little pony

Those who’ve been to Ocracoke surely remember the giant rearing pony in front of the Pony Island Motel. And you can’t miss its giant cock and balls. Just wanted to point out that this is not what a horse’s package actually looks like. And it’s the most detailed part of the statue. Weird.

October 12, 2008. Tags: , , , . Do not want, I can has animals, Matate, Not pretty, Steph. 3 comments.

We’ll all go to hell

This video is prettttty harsh on Palin.. but her “place in hell” quote is ridiculous.  Remember when Hil was running?  I bet Palin wasn’t so supportive.  Also, fuck you Sarah Palin.   Sorry, I’m sick, and that is my best summary.

Thanks Victoria for the clip.

October 7, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Emily, Matate, Not pretty, Politicals. 3 comments.

In light of the financial crisis, dress like a hobo

My sister sent this article to me with the message “These clothes are not affordable in tough economic times. Sorry, NY Times, you are wrong.”

October 3, 2008. Tags: , , . Fashiony, FYI, New York, News, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

Spice up your life

Surprise! Naked people are on your bed!! I want a new comforter, but not this one, I don’t think. I’m really bothered by the fact that these naked folks have no heads. Get out of my bed headless nudes!  OH wait, when you’re IN the bed YOU LOOK NAKED!  hehe.  But still creepy when the bed is made.

October 1, 2008. Tags: , , , . Do not want, Emily, Not pretty. 2 comments.

Weekend at Johnny’s

c/o the kim cho

September 29, 2008. Tags: , , . Becko, Not pretty, Politicals. 3 comments.

FYI: Suede’s collection is horrible

I guess I’m not that surprised.

September 25, 2008. Tags: , . Do not want, Fashiony, Not pretty, Steph, TV. 2 comments.

Let’s all play this game.

Sarah Palin baby name generator.

Steph = Trough Gutted Palin

Becky/Dan = WMD Cessna Palin

Em = Fork Decoy Palin

Nora = Bush Gator Palin

I don’t know why Becky and Dan’s came out the same.

September 22, 2008. Tags: , , , , , . Not pretty, Politicals, Steph. Leave a comment.

HEELS?! for BABIES?!

this is gross.. and not so ‘heelarious.’   that baby looks like a prostitot and she can’t even help it.  See heelarious footwear in action here.

September 19, 2008. Tags: , , . Emily, Fashiony, Matate, Not pretty. 2 comments.

Blog of the Day: Zombie McCain

http://zombiemccain.com/



spanks junior

September 19, 2008. Tags: , , . Becko, Blogz, BOD: Blog of the Day, Not pretty, Politicals, Viral. Leave a comment.

Remain in Light

especially if you are in thailand.

wmfu’s blog always posts amazing stuff.

September 17, 2008. Tags: , , , . Ads we like, Dan, Not pretty, Videos, Viral. 1 comment.

Suri Needs Her Bangs Trimmed

Seriously. Cut dem bangs, yo. Is that why she’s holding money? To tip the stylist?

September 17, 2008. Tags: , , , . Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

AMY POEHLER IS LEAVING SNL??

No way!!!!!!!!!

Amy Poehler: Leaving ‘Saturday Night Live’ will be ‘hard’

Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 2:16 PM

Amy Poehler is leaving “Saturday Night Live” after this season in order to focus on family.

The comedienne/actress, who expecting her first child with “Arrested Development” star Will Arnett, talked about parting with the show during an interview with Men’s Vogue.

“It’s gonna be really hard – Boyz II Men hard – to say goodbye to yesterday,” Poehler jokingly said of her nearly seven-year stint on the show.

“‘SNL’ was dangerous, late-night, last-minute and star-studded, but like any good drug, you need to know when to put it down.”

According to an SNL rep, the actress is staying with the show until her baby is born.

Though the mom-to-be makes no guarantee for a return to late-night TV, the star is reportedly working on her own show with “The Office” producers and writers at NBC.

Just last weekend, Poehler made headlines again for her spot-on portrayal of Senator Hillary Clinton in SNL’s season premiere.

I guess I have to cite The NY Daily News for the story, but jesus, Daily News, lay off the linking to your goddamn photos. Just report the fucking story.

September 17, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , , . Do not want, News, Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Oh Noes! Not again!

Watch out Florida. Ike is coming and boy is he huge.

Forecaster warns of ‘certain death’ as Ike looms.

September 12, 2008. Tags: . Do not want, News, Not pretty, Steph. Leave a comment.

Sarah Palin, will you please define the Bush Doctrine?

Skip to 7:00, “Do you agree with the Bush Doctrine.”

I thought this was a really good point, brought up by writers for Jezebel.

MOE: You know what is interesting, reading this interview? I feel like I sometimes err on the side of chalking up most Republican gaffes and idiocy re foreign policy to a kind of purposeful vagueness that buys them the license to invade whatever they want. But it should not be so hard to brief Sarah Palin. How could she come off so blindsided? How difficult is it, really, to grasp basic foreign policy? Why are so few politicians capable of giving a more accurate assessment in a television interview than i could? And I think to be honest, maybe it is tough for Sarah Palin to grasp. Maybe she just doesn’t absorb information about Sunnis and Shiites and Iran and Pakistan the way, you know, Barack Obama would. It isn’t that hard! And yet, it’s not like this shit gets taught in our schools, and that probably includes the communications curriculum at all six of Sarah Palin’s colleges.

MEGAN: My concern, though, is that it makes her just enough of a “regular” American that it’ll make regular Americans want to have a beer with her and mock us elitist Americans’ obsession with little things like the Bush doctrine and how starting an actual war with Russia might be bad. And that’s sort of what got George Bush elected. Twice.

September 12, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Emily, Matate, Not pretty, Politicals. 1 comment.

This crotch really is insane.

I’m glad the Onion AV club pointed out to me that Terri’s no better at making pants than Stella.

September 10, 2008. Tags: , , , . Fashiony, Not pretty, Steph, TV. Leave a comment.

WTF RNC? part2

Good question Steph, why did they put a random mansion behind mccain during his speech? (jfyi- when i watched it on tv, it was just a blue screen…) I think a better question is though, why did they make the stage look like a penis?

From Wonkette…

That’s former Senator Bill Frist you see speaking on tonight’s redesigned RNC stage, with a lovely projection of the African plains at dusk as his backdrop. You know what else is a projection? The massive black cock on which he’s standing.

September 5, 2008. Tags: , , . Becko, FYI, Matate, Not pretty, Politicals. Leave a comment.

America’s Next Top Dunk

Oh Tyra. You wooed us to stay up late tonight watching the season premiere of ANTM Cycle 410934873596 (that’s the exact number of “cycles” they’ve done). You won tonight, I’ll give you that. But whenever I look at you and your head full of thoughts of world domination and awareness-spreading intentions (see: this cycle’s contestant Isis), all I can think of is that time when Spencer and Heidi came to your show and said something so racist that the whole universe should had been shocked but you were too stupid to notice.

(I can’t find the clip anywhere else online except from The Soup, which is great, I effing love The Soup, but just skip to about 6:28 in…)

I’m sorry. That’s just ridic-ba-dunk-a-dunk-ulous.

September 5, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , . I can has animals, Nora, Not pretty. 1 comment.

Michael Phelps’s Swimmers

From here

September 4, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Nora, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Worse than Yoda the Cat

These cats have wings!

I thought I’d give Sarah a break.

September 3, 2008. Tags: , . Do not want, I can has animals, News, Not pretty, Steph. 1 comment.

Blog of the Day: Sexy People

So I thought I would get a head start on tomorrow and start posting again at midnight. This one comes care of Junior. Thanks.




Bravo! Great jlog!

August 26, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Becko, Blogz, BOD: Blog of the Day, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Wow, who knew?

Those two annoying and forgetable Project Runway designers are actually a couple. The video doesn’t work for me, but I don’t have sound anyway. Let me know if it’s at all amusing. Anyone think that the designers this year haven’t been all that impressive?

And for my own attempt at BOD: The Onion AV Club does a really good Project Runway recap . I like how they make fun of Jennifer: “Jennifer was delusional about her own aesthetic right to the end: ‘I brought something different to Project Runway … with my surrealism.’ That word doesn’t mean what you think it means, Jennifer.”

I just realized Jennifer could read this, and now I feeel bad. Sorry, Jennifer.

(I also love Tim’s Take..obvs).

August 21, 2008. Tags: , . BOD: Blog of the Day, Fashiony, Not pretty, Pretty, Steph, TV. Leave a comment.

Michael Phelps doesn’t know how to dress…

From Best Week Ever’s post Is Michael Phelps a Douche?

I don’t think he is a douche- i imagine he spends more time in the pool than he does outside. He probably just doesn’t know how to dress himself because 90% of the time he is wearing a speedo or his 20,000-calories-a-day eating suit.


By the way, who let him into fashion week looking like that?

Another addition:

Eww.  I hate boys in jeans and flip flops.

August 19, 2008. Tags: , . Becko, Not pretty. 2 comments.

Eek! It’s Yoda, the cat

yuck yuck

August 19, 2008. Tags: , , . Emily, I can has animals, Not pretty. Leave a comment.

Like the song, not the video- thoughts?

I saw Yelle play last winter and I think she is adorable. I think this song is great but not so certain how I feel about the video…and are her outfits McDonald’s themed? I can’t tell.

August 12, 2008. Tags: , . Becko, Fashiony, Innernette, Is this pretty?, Music, Not pretty, Pretty, Videos. 2 comments.

Time to start thinking about fall shopping….

I remember my mom commenting on all the dressed up geese in Ohio towns.

August 8, 2008. Tags: . Fashiony, Not pretty, Steph. 2 comments.

What to wear to a McCarren Pool Party

Guess what hipsters? The Brits are on to you!!! Topshop tells you how to dress for Williamsburg:

Stupid Topshop, hipsters are more unique than that.. oh wait, it’s time to not wash my hair and hike up my high-wasted pants and wear my damn sunglasses on the L train, even though it is underground. If this post offends you, then you consider yourself a hipster, which a true hipster would never do. Eh? So there! I think I’m in the clear.

August 7, 2008. Tags: , , , . Brooklyn, Emily, Matate, Not pretty. 2 comments.

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