from nytimes- “Photographer Robbie Cooper shows just how focused young video-game players can be”
Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define
By MARGUERITE FIELDS
RECENTLY my mother asked me to clarify what I meant when I said I was
dating someone, versus when I was hooking up with someone, versus when
I was seeing someone. And I had trouble answering her because the many
options overlap and blur in my mind. But at one point, four years ago,
I had a boyfriend. And I know he was my boyfriend because he said, “I
want you to be my girlfriend,” and I said, “O.K.”
He and I dated for over a year, and when we broke up I thought my
angsty heart was going to spit itself right up out of my sore throat.
Afterward, I moved out of my mother’s house in Brooklyn and into an
apartment in the East Village, and from there it becomes confusing.
So, a few days after the chat with my mom, when I found myself
downtown drinking tea with my friend Steven, I asked him what he
thought about dating. He has a long-term girlfriend, and I was curious
how he viewed their relationship.
“The main thing,” he said, “is I don’t mind if she sleeps with other
people. I mean, she’s not my property, right? I’m just glad I get to
hang out with her. Spend time with her. Because that’s all we really
have, you know? I don’t want her to be mine, and I don’t want to be
Full article here , from NYT:
Some years ago, I was awakened early one morning by a phone call from a friend. She had just broken up with a boyfriend she still loved and was desperate to justify her decision. “Can you believe it!” she shouted into the phone. “He hadn’t even heard of Pushkin!” We’ve all been there. Or some of us have. Anyone who cares about books has at some point confronted the Pushkin problem: when a missed — or misguided — literary reference makes it chillingly clear that a romance is going nowhere fast. At least since Dante’s Paolo and Francesca fell in love over tales of Lancelot, literary taste has been a good shorthand for gauging compatibility. These days, thanks to social networking sites like Facebook andMySpace, listing your favorite books and authors is a crucial, if risky, part of self-branding. When it comes to online dating, even casual references can turn into deal breakers. Sussing out a date’s taste in books is “actually a pretty good way — as a sort of first pass — of getting a sense of someone,” said Anna Fels, a Manhattan psychiatrist and the author of “Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women’s Changing Lives.” “It’s a bit of a Rorschach test.” To Fels (who happens to be married to the literary publisher and writer James Atlas), reading habits can be a rough indicator of other qualities. “It tells something about … their level of intellectual curiosity, what their style is,” Fels said. “It speaks to class, educational level.”