This is Just to Say (part 2)
I saw that cat shit
when i woke up
this morning
but I went back to bed
and pretended
that i didn’t notice
Forgive me
I was so sleepy
it stunk
so much
—
I have eaten
the phish food ice cream
that was in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for after you found out you got fired
Forgive me
but I was doing you a favor
since you’re so fat
so out of shape already
that I couldn’t stand to watch you eat more
—
I have discovered
the presents
that were in
your closet
and which
you were probably
saving
to give me for Christmas
Thank you
they are awesome
so big
so expensive
(first one by me, last 2 by nora)
nyc trash as collectible?
This brilliant person decided to put nyc trash in sealed little cubes and sell as ‘sculpture’ for $50 a pop. The dude claims they won’t rot or smell- AND you can get limited edition themed garbage cubes such as Republican National Convention trash and Yankee Stadium opening day trash. Mmmm. Why didn’t I think of this?
DubsCeeDubs
Jim is having a contest in his class for the best parody of the classic “This is Just to Say” poem by William Carlos Williams. Here’s the original:
This Is Just to Say
By William Carlos Williams
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
Nora’s entries:
I have finished
the Sunday crossword
that was in
the bathroom
and which
you were probably
trying to finish
for a really long time
Forgive me
it felt so good
to finally fill in 45-across
because you really
should have known
that “obi” was the answer
by now
—
I have watched
the episode of ‘Gossip Girl’
that was saved
on our tiVo
and which
you were probably
saving
to watch together this weekend
Forgive me
It was OMFG-a-licious
so scandalous
so naughty
Can you do better? Leave yours in the comments..
California Selectz
is anyone else excited about American Apparel selling their used shit online besides me?
Their ‘line’ or curated ebay collection or whatever is called California Select. The name is a little lame bit hopefully the clothes will be cooler.
This story is amazing.
This story from today’s Times is amazing. Just read the start of the article:
The back story of how a Torah got from the fetid barracks of Auschwitz to the ark of the Central Synagogue at Lexington Avenue and 55th Street is one the pastor of the Lutheran church down the street sums up as simply “miraculous.”
It is the story of a sexton in the synagogue in the Polish city of Oswiecim who buried most of the sacred scroll before the Germans stormed in and later renamed the city Auschwitz. It is the story of Jewish prisoners who sneaked the rest of it — four carefully chosen panels — into the concentration camp.
It is the story of a Polish Catholic priest to whom they entrusted the four panels before their deaths. It is the story of a Maryland rabbi who went looking for it with a metal detector. And it is the story of how a hunch by the rabbi’s 13-year-old son helped lead him to it.
It’s fun to do bad things
Like steal a car! This kid is hilarious.. and only 7
Vroom!
Today is a day about finding headshots for the House of Representatives. Some aren’t as cute. Meet Butterfield.
Here’s my philosophy: that muffin needs razor blades
Fun stuff to do in philosophy class, via Gawker.. “You’re a college philosophy student at NYU studying absurdism, the school of thought that says life and the universe have no meaning. What do you do for a class project? That’s right: bring in a muffin full of razor blades [NYS]”
wait, how does this work????
totally confused. I’ve watched this about 100 times…what happens to my brain when it makes the assumption?
On Friday night Mosa and I talked about their imaginary baby..
and now it’s real! they are having the funniest fetus ever made and I just found out they were a couple like… last week. Insert Baby Mama joke here.
God Bless Americrap
This picture cracks me up. I hate flags and I hate the Hills and I hate those shorts, most of all. I hope they’re at Heidiwood.
i’m here, and this post is about theremins.
I sent this to Nora a while ago (before i became the intern) and she never posted it. So this is my first crap that i’m posting. There isnt much more to anything here than what’s in the title.
And here is a guy whos really good at the theremin:
You’re such a good cook, KaiKai
Murakami was FANTASTIC.
A Gchat convo for the hall of fame
Stephanie: I had a dream that I was playing with puppies that had autism
me: what do autistic puppies do?
Stephanie: they wouldn’t look me in the eyes!
Stephanie: they were still pretty cute.
This photo is taken from Steph’s dream journal.
MoMa for Mosa and Natl Hist for B
The NYT is keeping you guys in mind this weekend…
Curators Point the Way to Hidden Treasures SO you know about the water tower at MoMA, the monkey god at the Met, and the outsized millipede at the natural history museum? What? No? What kind of a museumgoer are you, anyway?
A typical one, it turns out. New York City’s most iconic museums have a tendency to draw you to the same (great) attractions every time — Picassos and Egyptian temples and dinosaurs, just to name a few.
So Weekend in New York presented the following question to staff members of three big Manhattan museums: What is the most hidden treasure in the museum, the ones that even repeat visitors may never have seen?…
You knew all about that Millipede, didn’t you Becko? I couldnt’ find a pic of a giant millipede skelton, so the above will have to do. Google images, ur doin it wrong.
Can’t get The Teenagers out of my head
I only downloaded the entire album yesterday and now I can’t get it out of my head. I know it’s offensive and crass but all I want to do is sing it at the top of my lungs and dance- even in public. yeah. i know…
Announcing intern Dan
After some deliberation, we (Em and Becko- Nora doesn’t know yet) have decided to add an intern to the crapwelike roster. He has been our behind the scenes help since we started but for some reason, it just occurred to us this afternoon to let Dan post and give him a category. duh. Congrats Dan- don’t screw the pooch!
heart,
crapwelike
What kind of fuckery is this..
This is why I love her..
from People.. “Winehouse, 24, was alleged to have headbutted a man outside of a bar who tried to hail her a taxi, according to a detailed account in The Sun. The article is accompanied by a slideshow sequence of photos which include one of the “Rehab” singer walking into a lamppost.”
Lols, it are mai dream jobz
Oh my god.. this is a little tempting. Especially because I actually have experience in a) moderating user content b) cats c) a 3 person office and d) unconventional work hours.. I mean, how much does this sound like my job??
Moderators screen all submissions, moderate comments and help our users with the dangerous world of lolcats. This is a paid part-time (or possibly full-time position). Due to the nature of the site, moderators work non-standard office hours. You will be joining our team of 3 moderators in enjoying all the fun the Web can offer.
We’re looking for someone who lives in Seattle with a great sense of humor, a deep understanding and love of the Internets and a strong work ethic. Cat ownership is not required.
Crap, it’s in Seattle. Application info here.. if you want to beat me to the punch. Thanks to Dan for headhunting for ICHC.
GUESS WHAT TONIGHT IS?!!!?
Brule’s Rules. Doodoodooo do. Petite feet, feminine step. Feather your bangs. Wanna meet that Dad. I wear my Dad’s socks. I sit down when I pee. The only MARRIED news team. Skerrit.. BOO! Wait Mate. Great Job! Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssy Dooodles!
That means we are going to see Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job tonight! LIVE! Ahh.
Stuffwhitepeoplelike blog bought by Target?
I can’t figure out if this is real or not but it appears that fellow wordpress bloggers ‘stuffwhitepeoplelike’ has been bought out by Target to promote their organic food line, Tanner Farms. It was posted on their blog late March 31st- if it’s an April fool’s joke, it’s a bad one. Has anyone heard anything regarding this and can confirm this biz?
Heh heh heh heh
I wish I had watched this in english class instead of Waiting for Godot.
Steve isn’t happy. Google. Google.
Renegade Craft Fair!!!
I went last year at the very end and I wished I had gone both days. How can you go wrong with a pool full of arts and crafts? I totally recommend going but I’ll probably miss it because I’ll be home that weekend for medical tests. Feel sorry for me and enjoy the oodles of cuteness June 14th +15th.
This sounds so sweet this way!
Hilarious cover of Flo Rida.. i’ve never heard “give that big booty a slap” sound so G-rated. Is it wrong to like this for reals?
I love hate this house
I love the NY Times House & Home section. It’s the best thing about Thursdays, and it’s easily my favorite resource for all things design-related and all things just plain awesome. Here’s an example of why:
http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/garden/20080403_DESTINY_FEATURE/index.html
That’s an audio slideshow about a new home (pictured above) built by architects Madeline Gins and Arakawa. Gins and Arakawa sound certifiably insane. They build houses and apartments that try to extend life and reverse “destiny” (aka, avoid death) through architecture. The homes don’t have normal floors, they have playground terrains that are hilly and covered in wort-like bumps.
I really want to write these people off and say they’re nuts, but I find myself totally drawn to their work. While I would want to put in more conventional flooring, the house’s fluid lines, bright colors and playfulness are outstanding, and definitely inspiring. I love the exterior paint.
I do love how the reporter interviewing Gins and Arakawa remains skeptical throughout the interview. She does explain the merit of their work, but I like how she still conveys that “still smells a little like bullshit in here” message. I agree. It’s a pretty cool thing these architects are doing, but man do they sound like a bunch of busters. And that picture of the dog looking terrified as he tries to walk along the weirdo floor? Absolutely worth 1000 words.
FYI, all the images in this post are from Gins’ and Arakawa’s website, ReversibleDestiny.org
And yes, I know this is a lot more text that I usually include in my posts, but I’m at work right now and feeling pretty inspired by these psychos.
Sink with cutting board
How cool is this shit? It’s really cool. It’s a sink that also has a removable cutting board you can put right on top. Apparently, it’s good for cutting scallions.
How to explain to your kid you got a boob job..
This is real. It’s a kids book that helps kids understand why their moms got plastic surgery. As a kid who had a hard time dealing with change, I can appreciate the idea.. but god that’s sick. I needed the book “My beautiful Mommy with a perm” cause I cried when my beautiful mommy permed her hair once.. then again I cried when we got a new car, and new kitchen cabinets.. maybe I should start a series..
Moleskine art blog
Ch ch ch check it. Beautiful sketches and drawings that make me super jealous. 
im feeling optimistic
…because i quit my job today, met a distant family member who gave me booze, had an awesome indian dinner and then found this.
How do you act out Caddy smells like trees?
The Sound and the Fury is going to be showing Off Broadway. I will DEFINITELY go to this.. (You know I love Faulkner).. who’s in?? I have no clue how it’s possible to effectively translate that novel to the stage, but I just listened to a really interesting interview about it on NPR.
Jim, a trip to NYC maybe??
More info here.
Dancing cupcakes
Thanks for this, Danny.
We could be 3 girls on the couch with our compys..
If only Meetzers had one too! I’ll put it on her Christmas list.. er Hanukkah list.
Brooklyn Modern: A book I might read
I think I could read this book, and not just actually skim the pages. Brooklyn Modern’s website claims that it’s “the first book to explore the connection between Brooklyn’s astounding rebirth and its emerging architecture.”
Oh yeah? Well so is your face. Ha.
Check your eyes with chairs
In case I have not told you already, I’m in love with this new poster from Blue Art Studio:
non chair for lazy mothers
This disgusts me:
Teach your child that sitting in chairs is what people do. Bean bags are for hippies and lazies.
CrapWeLike! 